Monday 11 July 2011

17: How to help a friend with a diagnosis of cancer

QUESTION FROM FIONA: What is the best way to help a friend who is very ill with cancer?

GUIDES: Ask them. This is the same advice for anyone wishing to help anyone else. Do not assume that you know what needs to be done even if you have gone through something beforehand. Do not assume that what is right for them was also right for you or vice versa.

FIONA: What if they don’t give you a specific answer?

GUIDES: Give them a hug

FIONA: What if they are not in the same country as you?

GUIDES: Give them a phone call. Send them a card. There are many ways to give a hug. Love and support is what is needed.

FIONA: Different people demonstrate love and support in different ways.

GUIDES: They do. Love and support for one person is, "Take this remedy, take this drug, why haven’t you had chemotherapy, try this different drug". For another it is, "How are you?”

If a person is far away from you, you are less likely to be able to offer practical support. However, you can give emotional support. You can ask them if they would like access to information. What we are doing now is providing people with access to information. People you may never meet, Fiona. But, it comes with a hug.

1 comment:

  1. FROM CLAIR, EDINBURGH

    Fiona I agree with both your and your guide’s comments. There is no right or indeed wrong way to support someone; with, without or recovering from cancer. You can only do your best. This is not to say you have to do anything at all. As said "Hugs" come in many ways. Sometimes just knowing there is someone out there thinking of you; hoping for a better future and showing their love in the way that they can, does indeed provide excellent support.

    The most important thing that you must remember is that in order to support someone else you also have to ensure you have the support to give. If giving the support puts you or others you love at risk of too deep a sacrifice it is not something a friend would want you to do.

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